


Of Necromancy and Ne'er-do-wells

by draconicPeacekeeper



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Banter, Broomsticks, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, F/M, Hufflepuff, M/M, Magic, Multi, Necromancy, Owls, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Polyamory, Quidditch, Slytherin, Storms, Trolls on Earth, Weather
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-11-12 11:59:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11161401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draconicPeacekeeper/pseuds/draconicPeacekeeper
Summary: Harry Potter AU and also a very different kind of reckoning





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't a oneshot, I just don't know how to change stuff on Ao3 haha
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the Prologue of my Potterstuck AU, in which Rose and John are being stupid

**_Hswohfwiigerolwfiwqpfh…_ **

 

A soft murmur could be heard from the edge of the lake. Wind had picked up speed, howling like a wolf, lapping the water carelessly. A book was laying on the ground in front of Rose Lalonde, pages flipping quickly as she chanted. It was late at night and the only light came from the wand she held in front of her. She should not have been up this late, she knew. She should have been sleeping in the Slytherin dorm, not casting spells outside while in possession of a book containing sorcery of questionable intent. But what were rules, to a witch with the purpose that she had?

 

*SNAP!*

 

Her hooded head lifted at the sound of a stick breaking. She was not alone.

  
She whipped around, her wand illuminating her pale face, lilac eyes sharp and piercing. Standing in front of her was a tall boy in violet pajamas and glasses. Her eyes narrowed.

 

“Ampora.” said Rose. “You shouldn’t be awake at this time of night. What business do you have here?”

 

“Funny, I could ask ya the same thin’.”

 

“You could, but you didn’t. I, on the otherhand,  _ did _ ask the aforementioned questions. So spill it, fishbreath. What are you doing here?”

 

He lifted his chin, looking at her down his nose. “I don’t have to tell you that.”

 

“Then I suppose I don’t either.”

 

A few seconds passed before Eridan noticed something odd. The chanting hadn’t stopped, though Rose’s lips weren’t moving. He glanced down at the book in front of her.

 

“Lalonde.” He said slowly. “Where did you get that book?”

 

“I brought it from home. It happens to shed a bit of light on certain weather charms that are a bit more difficult for the average wizard.” Before he could interrupt she adds “And don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been avoiding my question. What sort of haughty affairs are you up to today?”

 

He frowns. “It’s not  _ haughty _ , Rose. I was just bein’ factually correct when I said that it was too much for you to comprehend.”   
  
“Yes, because all of you boys being obsessed with that ridiculous sport is  **_so_ ** much for an  _ amateur  _ like me, the former chaser of the Slytherin team, to understand. Oh what marvelous and correct logic that seems to be.” 

 

“ _ Former _ bein’ the key word, you ridiculous goth. And I have to say, I think I’m a  _ much _ better one. You were gettin’ soft anyways.”

 

She opens her mouth as if to argue, but she never gets the chance.

 

A great moan echoes behind them as a whirlpool forms in the water. Tentacles erupt from within, and it only takes mere seconds for the giant squid to reach the surface.   
  
Rose grins, her eyes glowing as if filled with a strange light. Chaos dances in her face, but Eridan’s shows only sheer terror. The waves swirl rapidly, thunder booming in the clouds. The teachers rush outside, most still in their pajamas. Students stand on tippy toes behind them, trying to get a good view on what’s happening.

 

Rose waves her wand, the white light emanating from it flickering to black and purple.

The elation on her face dims to determination.   
  
“John! I would be eternally grateful for some help right about now!”

 

The Hufflepuff zooms down on his broomstick, gripping his glasses to keep them from blowing away. The winds are so loud now that she can barely hear his voice as he shouts “Rose! I don’t think this was a good idea! Maybe we should stop?”

 

She turns to stare at him incredulously, her voice amplified by the spell. “Please tell me you’re not serious. We cannot stop now, John! I’ve already informed you as to why! We need to do this. And by “we” I don’t mean “I”. Don’t just hover there! I need your assistance.”

 

A bottle of apple juice with the symbol of a crow engraved on it rolls in front of her feet. She glances at it in surprise.

 

“Dave?” she asks, looking around as if expecting to find her twin.

 

But all that answers back is the howling of the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slytherins in this chapter: Eridan, Rose
> 
> Hufflepuffs in this chapter: John


	2. friendship is magic, just ask the wizards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the kanjaderose

Your name is ROSE LALONDE and so far, you and your friends have had a lovely outing.

 

When you tell them as much, Jade’s reply is to laugh and tell you “It’s not an outing, Rose. You’re not going anywhere! You’re just hanging out with some friends during the weekend, that’s all.”

 

You smile. You love her laugh. It sounds playful, melodious, almost like windchimes. At least, that’s how  _ you’d  _ describe it. It’s pretty, just like her.

 

John grins. “Yeah, Rose. I though you liked being all specific and stuff. You should be more careful! Imagine if some poor blockhead got confused by your wordy-ness.”

 

You nod sagely. “That would truly be a tragedy. A single bufoon, attempting to fend for himself alone in this cruel, cruel world, when all of the sudden he happens apon my incorrect vocabulary usage! Oh, the horror. Oh, the cruelty. Thus would be the sockdolager to break the camel’s back.”

 

“Sockdolager, huh? That’s a new one.” At the sound of the newcomer’s voice you whip around and sure enough, there stands your brother. He is covered head to toe in some sort of green fluid that’s stained the cloth on his robe a dark teal. You decide not to ask, instead waving your wand in circular motions in front of you. “Scourgify.” The slime dissapears, leaving his robes the same black and blue color they’d been before. He slides down onto the floor next to you.

 

“Geez, you guys are so good at magic! We’ve only been here a month! Slow down so I actually have a chance to catch up.” John says. He grins like it’s a joke, but you can’t help feeling like he’s being serious for once in his life.

 

“It’s nothing to agonize about, John. Some people are just naturally adept at magic and some aren’t. I do hope you don’t feel  _ too _ inadequate about it.” you reply. You’re only half-joking.

 

John rolls his eyes dramatically. “Wow thanks, Rose. That was so helpful of you. I feel helped.”

 

“No problem.”

 

“Oh look, Rose.” interuppts Dave. “Your girlfriend’s coming.” He glances at Jade. “Well, okay, your other girlfriend.”

 

“What? Dave, I don’t have any girlfriends. Jade is most certainly-” your mind draws a momentary blank. “Jade is most certainly not my lover.” Were you imagine that or did she droop a little when you said that? No, you must be envisioning the slump of her back as she leans away from you. That is not a thing that happens. No way, no how.

 

“Hello? Have I come to the right place?” Thankfully enough, a voice interuppts your thoughts. You turn around and- oh… It’s Kanaya.

 

Is it you or did it just get a bit hotter in here?

“Heeeey Kanaya,” says Jade. “Did you change your last name to Earl Gray?”   
  


“No, I don’t believe so. Why do you ask?”

 

“Because you are a  _ hot-tea _ !”

 

A groan escapes your throat. Not this again. Every time, you swear.

 

“Why Jade, I have a question for you as well.”

 

“Oh? And what’s that, Kanaya?”

 

“Do you play Quidditch?”

 

“Yes, actually! Why d’you mention it?”   
  
“Well, I am mentioning it because I suspect you may be  _ a keeper _ .”

 

They both laugh. Meanwhile, you are here. Dying. You think this might be hell.

 

Kanaya turns to you. “Rose, would you like to participate in our punfest? It is much more fun if we all engage in the pick-up lines.”

 

You feel your face heat up, although hopefully it’s not too noticable. You glance at Dave, who looks like he is trying very hard to not laugh. You give him a subtle shake of the head no. That makes him start snickering even harder.

 

Your brother can be a real jerk sometimes.

 

“W-well okay, if you insist.” you stammer.

 

They’re both staring at you in anticipation. It’s now or never.

 

“If you were a vegetable, I bet you’d be a cute-cumber.” you say, waggling your eyebrows for extra impact.

 

There’s complete silence. Suddenly, everybody bursts out laughing.

  
“Oh- oh my god, Rose. That was… that was awful. I’m dying.” Jade says, wheezing.

 

“Jade, you may be one of my dearest friends, but right now I’d really appreciate it if you’d stop talking.” you huff, your face taking on the ripe color of a tomato.

 

“No, she’s right.” says John. “That was awful.”

 

“You too, John. It’s not like you had anything useful to add to the conversation.”   
  
“ _ Hey! _ ”

 

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN’S DIRTY UNDERWEAR IS WITH ALL THIS NOISE?”

 

You all twist around at the sound of somebody shouting and find Karkat Vantas standing in the doorway of the Griffindor portrait, still in his pajamas. You find it hilarious. Your brother probably finds it cute. 

 

He always did have awful taste in boys.

 

“Hello Karkat-” begins Kanaya, but he cuts her off before she has a chance to finish.

 

“Don’t ‘hello’  _ me, _ Kanaya. You’re  _ late. _ ” he taps his foot on the ground impatiently.

 

She turns a lovely shade of jade. “Well, I must apologize for that, but you see I got distracted.”

 

“By  _ what? _ ”

 

“By  _ puns. _ ”

 

He looks perplexed for nary a second before sighing, as if already used to this. You’d be surprised to see his anger drain so quickly, except it’s Kanaya. Nobody can stay mad at Kanaya.

 

“Of course you were. Why did I even bother asking? Just, next time try not to take as long as an ancient shellbeast that’s been stuck to the ground with it’s own spit, okay?”

 

“Alright, I’ll be sure to do that. Although, I think you’d be rather hypocritical to hold this against me, seeing the number of times when  _ you’ve  _ been late.”

 

“Oh, really? I wonder what crabby the crab was doing that caused him to be late to your little monorail dates? Methinks I smell a scandal!” says Dave.

 

Karkat scoffs at him. “What are you, Terezi? There’s no scandal. I just happened to be busy at the moment, not that you’d know anything about that, you brainless, irresponsible weasel.”   
  
“Busy? Busy doing what, exactly?”   
  
“None of your business, Strider.”

  
Dave’s about to respond when a letter hits him square in his face. He plucks it off and skims it curiously while the owl that brought it nibbles a piece of his hair.

 

“Merlin’s beard!” he shrieked, jumping up from the floor. The owl flies off after giving him an indignant look. “I almost forgot! Aradia’s gonna kill me.”

 

“Aradia?” asks Karkat. “What are you doing with Aradia?”

 

“None of your business, Vantas.” says Dave. Karkat glares at him. Dave sticks his tongue out before rushing down the hall in the other direction.

 

You frown. You don’t remember Dave talking to anybody named Aradia.

 

You wonder what he’s doing with her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write anybody besides Rose or the Seadwellers. Bluh!
> 
> Also, the trolls are still trolls. How does this work? *shrugs* They live on Earth. Some of them are wizards.
> 
> Slytherins in this chapter: Rose
> 
> Griffindors in this chapter: Jade, Karkat
> 
> Ravenclaws in this chapter: Dave, Kanaya
> 
> Hufflepuffs in this chapter: John


End file.
